Where I Went For Acceptance
by wildrumpusstart
Summary: My name is Emily, I'm 18 years old, I have no friends, and my family treats me like dirt and an idiot. One day I just can't take it anymore and I run away, I find this boat and take it across the water and find a place full of foreign creatures, a place where I'm accepted for who I am, a place I only IMAGINED that existed.
1. Chapter 1 Emily

**Chapter 1 : ****Emily**

My name is Emily Benson, I'm 18 years old and no matter what my family might tell you. I'm not a moron. I just...I'm gonna be quoting what a resident at a nursing home complimented about me, "You have an imagination the size of the moon!"

And I have to agree with her, I mean, I knit, I draw, I write, I read, and my inspiration comes from movies and music. One book I remember reading was...oh God, I can't remember the name, but it had these fuzzy monsters and this kid in these pajamas that I asked my mom over and over to buy for me. And the monster I loved the most was the stripes one with the diamonds on his legs and the cat tail. I was once told his name was Moishe, but when I was little, I had my own name for him...it's silly, please don't laugh -Carol.

From then on, he was my imaginary friend, we ran through our 10 acre land in the yard and in the woods. When I was sad, he'd be there to cheer me up, when I was angry he'd make me laugh and when I was scared, he'd comfort me. A lot of times, however, in my dreams, I'd be on this small white boat sailing up to this island and I'd feel like there was something...or someONE waiting for me there.

I will admit it...I'm in special education, I'm ADHD, I have an EI (or emotional impairment, meaning I don't usually think like I'm my age) and I also have been diagnosed with organic brain syndrome. It's frustrating being like this because...no one takes you seriously! I mean, with my family, every time I have an opinion, and I say it, they look at me like I don't have any pants on. I have two younger siblings named Erin and William, Erin is one of the smartest people I know... I mean put us in a crowded room and she looks like an Einsteinette...I however, look like that loser fat kid that gets picked last on the little league. My brother, William, or Will, he's got problems as well, he's been diagnosed with everything from aspergers to bipolar to ADHD. And his condition is not kind to me or my mother especially, he cuts us down on a daily basis, me especially. Calling me worthless, pig, lard-o, ma-dah, piece of crap etc. etc. It's pretty much like jail rape...the first time, all you can do is lay on the floor, cry scream and hope for it to be over but by the tenth time, you just lay there, waiting for it to be over.

Here's another thing I'll admit...I'm adopted. I was adopted when I was 4, and I still have some bad memories from that time. I was molested by my birth mother's boyfriend Mike, who I hate with every fiber in my body. He did that, beat me with a cutting board, and one time, duct taped my hands, feet and mouth together and shoved me under the bed for hours. I can still remember the musty smell of the dust and how I was crying and trying to call for help, but no body came, because no one could hear me and Mike was the only one in the house. Now my birth mother, Dee...I want to go Salem Witch Trials on her! She tried to abort me when she got pregnant with me! She didn't even go to a specialist either! She tried to abort me herself with cocaine! A lot of you are probably thinking I'm over reacting, but you don't know what that feels like, that you're own mother tried to kill you, that she didn't even want you in the first place! By the time I was born...she was addicted. I want to tie her to a post and burn her alive, or crush her under rocks until...well, you know, but I can't. One, I'd go to jail and two she's re married with another daughter and I couldn't deal with that on my conscience, that a child is going through life without a mother because of me. But, on the upside, I still get to see my fun, eccentric grandmother Maggie. She's taken me on an Alaskan cruise, Houghton Lake, Dayton Ohio to see Lion King on Broadway, and when I graduate, she's taking me to Boston, Salem and The Lizzie Bordon house. My mom tells me to be cautious...because she might want to try and get me and Dee back together. I have been wary, I mean, she has talked about Dee and Katie around me, Katie is the girl's name. I told Gramma and I made it very clear that I'm fine with seeing Katie, but, not Dee. And she said, "You can't have one and not the other right now."

And so far, she has respected my wishes, but my adopted mom, that's a different story. We get into these heated debates about my birth family and how I don't know this and I don't know that and yadda yadda yadda. But I know she's looking out for me a my interests though she seems like she just doesn't care about what I want in life. And a lot of times, she's just plain rude to me, she'll comment on my weight when I ask to go on the computer or when I'm reading, writing, watching TV, playing on the Wii, drawing, and just minding my own business and I'll hear, "Can you do anything useful?"

I can't tell you how much that stings, when your doing something that someone prided you for and they ask you that,I feel like I'm being stabbed in the back! Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a very easy person to get along with. I'm naturally bubbly and giggly and I like Blue Collar Comedy jokes and I love to tell them to make people smile, laugh, and make someone's day. Trust me, spend an hour with me...you will not be bored.

Though with my quirks, it comes with a price, I'm dangerously single, I don't have any close friends, I mean, the last time I was invited to go shopping, I came back looking like a slut. Hardly any phone calls to invite me to hang out, I went to prom and my date told me that he liked me and I really liked him already. I told him that and we've seldom spoken since and I still have the same feelings now. Even at 18 I still run to Carol for help, I've been to a lot of therapists asking me about Carol and telling me to let him go...I pretend to have let him go, but when no one's around, I talk to him. And on those days at night, I step onto the island and see him in person and I see he's not the only one on the island, there's a white rooster who is the peacekeeper and very kind and wise, this is Douglas, there's a goat who's around my height his name is Alexander and if he were human, he could easily be my age and he basically wants attention and I'm the only one there who acknowledges him. And I actually feel nervous around him. In a good way not a bad way. Then there's Ira, he's got an aura of bad posture, grey fur, and a huge Pinnochio long nose that's a little distracting. There's also Daniel who's' literally a giant bull with human feet, he doesn't say much but there's a sort of silent communication between us. Then there's the girls, first there's Judith...Ira's wife who's' brutally honest and sometimes harsh. And finally my favorite out of the two, KW...she's the sweetest one out of all of them, she's gentle and open hearted and sees the best in everyone. KW is Carol's wife and I can easily see why he fell for her. I talk to them, play with them, sing to them, ask for advice-all in one dream and before I have to wake up they send me back in the boat. I hug them all goodbye, Carol kisses my head and places me in the boat and says softly, "I'll eat you up I love you so." Then off I would go, happy tears filling my face as they disappeared in the distance and I would wake up.

I've always been curious if this place ever existed because this has been my childhood. And when I leave in the boat, looking back at their faces, there is only love and affection in their expressions. The strongest is Carol's, I can tell he cares about what I have to say, he wouldn't do or say anything to purposely harm me and my feelings reflect his. I want to come so bad, but, that's the problem with dreams...in your dreams you know instinctively what to do, and where to go.

But in the real world, you can't remember, no matter how hard you try.


	2. Chapter 2 I Give Up!

**Chapter 2 **

**I Give Up!**

I woke up that morning and went downstairs, _Saturday_ ugh, I _hate _weekends. Because I have to put up with chores chores chores and _more_ chores. While my sister rks on next month's homework and Will hogs the phone talking to his girlfriend. I sat on the sofa and put on Animal Planet and watched Must Love Cats...I was tired and bored and no one else was up yet. Then my dad, John was up, he fed our 5 cats then sat in the recliner. As everyone else got up, the more I stayed silent, if I said one word, they'd ignore me and I'd end up hurt. Mom had me walk our dog Oreo around the backyard then I did dishes, folded laundry, sorted laundry, folded laundry again, scrubbed the bathroom, walked Oreo again, had lunch, did the dishes, took scraps out to the garden...ten times, set the table for dinner, had dinner, did the dinner dishes, got my shower and went to bed. And during the course of that day I got a total of a half hour of me time. When that happened, my mom would say, "Get up off your lazy ass and do something!"

But that night, I overheard something that quickly made me make up my mind to leave. I was in my room, reading _East_ By Edith Pattou when I needed to go to the bathroom and I heard my parents talking.

"We could send her to a home," my mom said.

"You mean like an independant living home?" Dad asked, agreeingly.

"Yeah, I mean, she doesn't have an income, her grades are down the toilet, I have to ask her to do work, I have to waste my gas for her appointments because she refuses to learn to drive the tractor for us to pay for her driver's ed, and she's not paying for her room and board. Oh, and let's not forget how she's living in a fantasy world and all she wants to do is sit. She's a huge dissapointment and burden on us all and you know it."

_Burden? Disappointment?_ Choking back tears, I strode upstairs to my room, acting like I didn't hear a thing. After my door was closed, I collapsed on the bed and wept into my pillow and clutching my stuffed panda, Pandi. The cry I made was the kind where every sob hurt to let out and hurt to keep closed inside, the kind where every breath felt like it was going to tear you to shreads, the kind where you feel like your the only person in this land of misery.

After I was sure that everyone was asleep, I made up my mind...leave. Leave this world where nobody appreciated me or my talents, hated me for being myself, wanted to change me into the complete opposite of me, where being a few pounds overweight is such a crime, where I'm not free to be me, I'm in a tug of war between two families and where I'm a dissapointment and burden to my own family.

'Well, I won't be a burden to them financially anymore,' I thought to myself.

I got my schoolbag, dumped out the crinkled, old, and finished worksheets, bindersand other school related materials and placed in some changes of clothing, my bear throw blanket, a couple of my favorite books, and Panel inside. Then, I got my Aeropostale bag and put in my journals, my MP3 player, my Wolf Suit I made in sewing class and my knit version of Carol that I made. Then I put on my brown parka with fur lined around the hood, my sneakers, and my bags and left for good. I was giving this life up and I wasn't coming back.

Anywhere is better than here.


	3. Chapter 3 The Wild Things

**Chapter 3**

**The Wild Things**

I ran down the street with tears in my eyes, I felt betrayed, un loved and of course un wanted. I ran until I was at the lake and I saw a boat, an average sized one and a bone white. I recognized it from my dreams, I took it as a sign and stepped in and pushed away from the shore. A night went by...then days, weeks, months, **_years_**! I don't know! One day, I finally saw land, I was starving and I knew that where there was land...there'd be food! I had to go through rapids to get to land but both me and the boat made it in one piece.

Once ashore, I felt dizzy and light headed. My face felt hot and my body felt hot even though it was freeze your butt off cold. I tried to walk and it was more like stumbling. When I got into the forest, I fell multiple times...I could feel blood flowing onto my pant legs from the cuts I got when I fell. And when I'd been trekking for what felt like hours...my legs finally gave out. I tried to call for help, but my voice didn't go above a whisper, my throat felt like it was clawed out. All I heard was a THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP on the ground as I cried, I looked up and saw a dark shadow over me before I passed out. I felt myself being picked up and carried through the woods.

A few minutes later, I heard an overlapping conversation take place.

"What is that?" a cranky female voice asked.

"Get KW, Now!" the one who was carrying me demanded. He had a sort of Jersey accent to him.

I felt him laying me down, my head lolled from side to side. A few heartbeats went by and I heard someone come in.

"Carol?" a sweet warm female voice asked.

"I found her in the woods."

"She's white as death!" She gasped.

"What is it?" a male teenager voice asked.

"I think it's a _her_," a dopey sounding male voice responded.

"Whatever it is, she's in rough shape," the Jersey accented one said as he dabbed my forehead with something cold and wet. My eyes opened a little, it took a minute for my eyes to adjust and when they did, I thought I was having an out of body experience. I saw 7 hairy monsters all around me, they all looked concerned for me.

"Here," the cranky voiced one said as she handed the kind voiced one a wooden cup.

"Here honey...don't worry, it's water."

She put the cup to my lips and I drank the clean, unsalted water.

"What's your name?" the jersey accented one asked.

I had to try hard to find my voice, but it was still raw and sore.

"Em-mily..." I croaked.

The jersey accented one's eyes widened as the kind voiced one's claws ran through my short hair soothingly.

"Is there anything we can do to help you?"

I had to find my voice again to say, "So...so...tired."

"Ssh...alright-go to sleep."

She turned to everyone else and said, "We have to keep her warm."

"How?" the cranky one asked.

"We can pie on top of her," a southern gentleman voice suggested.

I then felt them piling over me, being careful not to crush me. I was in la la land right before they were, I could never remember a day where I loved being sick.


	4. Chapter 4 A Day With Carol

**Chapter 4**

**A Day With Carol**

I have no clue how long I slept, but when I suddenly became aware of the voices talking around me.

"Why are you attached to her Carol?" the cranky one asked.

"I told you Judith, I've known her since she was a kid!"

My eyes fluttered a little, _Carol? Judith?_

"_Why_ do you care?"

"Hurt her, I'll hurt you."

Judith left and Carol knelt by side and another figure came to his side.

"How long has she been out?" the female with the sweet voice asked.

"3 days."

_3 days?!_

"Wow, what do you think she's like."

"I _know _what she's like, she's smart, funny, creative and adventurous. Trust me, you'll love her KW."

_KW? _

I suddenly found my voice, "Car-ol...K...W.."

They turned to me instantly, "Em? Emily? Can you say something else?" Carol asked.

My eyes fluttered open, and I saw them...just like in my dreams.

I smiled, "Hi."

They both laughed in relief, "Hey," Carol said.

"How are you?" KW asked.

"I'm OK."

KW laughed softly and said, "So _you're_ Emily...Carol's told us so much about you."

"Really?" I said looking at him. He looked down; if he were human, he'd be blushing.

My next question was to make sure they weren't joking earlier, "How long was I asleep?"

Carol sighed, "3 days, and you _really _had us worried there for a minute."

"Seriously?!" I sat up too quickly and my head spun. "Whoa..." I groaned.

"Easy, easy," Carol said calmly.

Then Judith came in and commented, "Oh, good, she's up! for a while I thought we'd be dragging your body to an unmarked grave."

Carol shot her a look and she gave him a testy look back and left. Carol and KW then supported me as I stood up. And soon after, I was walking. I felt like a newborn foal, about 5-10 minutes after birth...they're walking, running and jumping.

Carol offered to take me out for a special day...an offer I accepted. I walked by him through the forest in awe of the colors in the trees. They were shades of green, brown, burgundy, yellow and orange. Here, it was still autumn with soft baby pink and baby blue flower petals brushing my face in the wind. I looked up as I walked beside him, but I finally had to stop.

I couldn't help it, I reached up and spun around slowly. I was catching leaves and petals as I did this. I was in a trance when he snapped me out of it.

"Having fun?"

"Yeah-sorry...I just-I only saw this place in my dreams and could never touch it."

"Don't worry, I get it - come on, I wanna show you something."

He then let me ride on his shoulders; it reminded me of being a little girl riding on my dad's shoulders with a fudge popsicle at a car show in summer. Carol secured my legs and I clamped into the fur on the back of his head. I felt their fur before when they piled over me to keep me warm. It's soft, a bit wiry, but plush at the same time.

"So did you sail here?" he asked.

"Yeah, but unlike in my dreams, I had to do it by guesswork."

"Wow! You learn fast!"

"It depends on the subject."

I took in the scenery, at Carol's height and everything was richer, clearer and more luminescent.

"Do you _always_ see like this?" I asked.

"Being me has it's perks."

"Like not feeling cold?"

"Or pain...well up to a point."

I laughed.

"Do you know any jokes?" he asked.

"How many cockroaches does it take to make the sun come up?"

He paused to think of an answer, "I don't know - how many?"

"Can't tell, when the sun goes down, they scatter!"

Carol boomed a laugh that made me vibrate. "That's a good one! I'll remember that one!"

There was a silence then he asked, "Why'd you come here?"

"Well, you know how it is with my family - they're trying to change me."

He scoffed in disbelief and I continued, "I heard them talking about sending me to a special home."

"_What_ kind of home?"

"It's for people who can't fend for themselves, whose parents just quit on them and whose brains don't function right - people like _me_."

He paused to think of how to respond; then said, "I'm sorry that happened to you Em."

I twisted a smile - he sounded like he really meant it.

We then were walking in a desert that looked as if it shouldn't be there. Carol let me down and walk beside him. When we went uphill on the dunes my foot sank into the sand. And when that happened, he took my hand and helped me up. We arrived at a series of cliffs and he helped me to climb them. Once we were at the top, he let me take a breather before continuing on.

"Ready?" he asked after 5 minutes.

I nodded, got up and followed him.

He led me to a room with a visibly repaired table that had an assembly of mountains, canals and carvings of the rest of the group. It reminded me of Venice Italy, everyone there travels on gondolas on rivers.

"You made this?" I asked.

"Yeah," said with a prideful, blushing voice.

"_I _can't even do this...this is amazing."

"Thanks - hey, wanna see a street view?"

"Sure."

He pointed to a hole in the side, "Crawl in here."

I pointed to the hole, "Here?"

He nodded, "Right here."

I crawled in and stuck my head through a hole and I was at street level. Everything was higher and I felt like I'd been shrunk down.

"Now watch this."

He tilted a jug and water filled the streets; a small boat glided by with carvings of Carol and KW in it.

"You're incredible, I think you really have a gift."

I crawled out and he was looking at me solemnly.

"Em, I have to tell you something...something _very _important, okay?"

"Okay."

He took my hand and led me to the entrance and we sat on the top step. He looked at me with sincere honesty.

"Em, I've known you your whole life and once you came here, KW took a motherly role over you. And me...I...ugh, how do I say this?"

"Just say it Carol."

"I've taken the _fatherly_ role over you. Look, I _know_ what they were going to do to you. They were going to send you somewhere so they wouldn't have to deal with you anymore. I would never ever ever _ever _do that to you; you know that. I'll never send you off like that or even _think _of it."

I smiled at him and he soothingly scratched the back of my head. I was feeling drowsy again as we watched the sky turn pink - sunset. The last thing I remember was laying against Carol's fur before everything went dark.


	5. Chapter 5 Rumpus

_**Chapter 5: **__**Rumpus**_

The next morning, I woke up to find that I slept between Carol and KW last night. Now that their true feelings were out there, I loved it here. I felt them breathing as I lay there and it made me fall asleep again.

When I awoke again a couple hours later, it was from the feeling of Carol and KW wanting to get up. I could've slept a little more, but I didn't want to miss what we'd be doing that day. Douglas had the perfect idea, he told me to yell a certain phrase as loud as I could.

"Really?" I asked him a little confused.

"Yeah."

"What'll happen after?"

"Just trust me, it'll be great!"

Carol approached us then and said cautiously, "Douglas, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not? She's fast, right?"

"Yeah, I was captain of the track team! Douglas, I can't even _run_ without finding something to trip on."

Carol laughed at my sarcasm because he knew it was true. I was then looking into the eyes of 7 excited monsters, so I yelled at the top of my lungs, "LET THE WILD RUMPUS START!"

They were then hooting and howling and then began running to the shore. I tried to run after them but I wasn't fast or coordinated enough. I tripped 3 times before I got _completely_ lost. I ran in a daze, calling everyone's name; hoping someone would hear me. I then stopped; now I was inwardly _freaking_ out. Then I heard someone say beside me, "Need some help there?"

I looked and it was Alexander.

"How did you find me?" I asked.

"When you didn't show up at the beach, we got worried."

He then turned around offering for me to ride piggyback. I got on and he rand me in the right direction. He ran as fast as a chipmunk and had better coordination than _me_! We came to the shore and he let me down. I ran up with them and we began howling, I felt like a kid again at that moment. After that, we went back into the forest and began uprooting trees, batting each other with them, jumping around, jumping or diving off of trees and I watched them either laughing, worried or both. Judith approached me and said, "Whoa! What'd you do to your face?"

I put my hand on the side of my face to see what it was.

"No, let me see...whoa what's that? No, don't worry, let me see.."

She then licked the entire side of my face!

"Ew! Gross!" I exclaimed wiping the saliva off of my face. "I'll have to remember not to fall for that one!"

After a while, Alexander approached me shyly and said nervously, "Carol mentioned you were pretty, but he didn't say you were _this _pretty..."

He then caught himself, "No! He didn't say you were _ugly_ or anything it's just...you're different - I mean that in a good way! Not a _bad_ different a - a good different, the kind where you're - I'm gonna shut up now."

I laughed at his attempts to compliment me, I thought he was sweet and funny and he was like an older brother to me...I think. After a few hours of rumpusing and fun and whatnot, one by one we all got tired and they all piled over me again with Carol and KW at the bottom. But as we drifted, I (for some odd reason) began singing 'A Song for Mia' by Lizz Wright. It went:

I went down to the water , all night long  
I'm putting my feet in ,all night long

And I went down to the water , all night long  
And I'm putting my dreams in , all night long

And what you think of me ,I can't say  
I'll take these bad dreams and I'll drove along the way

I'm at the shore now , the shadows at my back  
I can feel the waves coming there , heavy and black

But I can't turn away now 'cause I  
They're singin' a song

And I , I'm in harmony  
I'm singing along

And what you did to me I , I can't take no more  
I'll take these bad dreams and I'll lay them at the shore

The end of the ocean I'll never see  
I stare out in the distance and it's looking back at me

And I'll look down to the water all night long  
And I'll put my feet in , all night long

And I'll put my dreams in , all night long  
And I'll put my tears in , all night long  
I went down to the water

Then there was the sound of 7 snores and they put me to sleep like a lullaby; comfortably warm, I smiled in my sleep.


	6. Chapter 6 Houses

_**Chapter 6: Houses**_

Within a week, I had _almost_ everyone (i.e. Judith) wrapped around my finger. Carol and KW were on my side from the beginning, Alexander looks at me like a fat guy looks at tacos, Ira was like that funny uncle you can't wait to see at Christmas, Douglas reminded me of Carlisle from Twilight and I respected him, Daniel was mostly silent but he always brought me a flower and tucked it behind my ear and Judith...well...we don't exactly see eye to eye. I mean, I _tried _ to be nice to her but I usually left crying.

One day, I concocted a plan with Carol, after I saw the remains of their former village...I could help them rebuild new houses like the ones they had and they could be built near the fort. Carol was already on board, "You're a good thinker Em...even better than me! And I don't say that to everyone!" he said.

When I told everyone else, they agreed. Although, Judith was silent for some odd reason. But, immediately, we got to work. The fort would be more of a hangout area and the houses for when we want to be alone and sleeping. Total, we would create 6 houses, 3 on one side of the fort and 3 on the other side. I would assist with 5 and Carol and KW would work on ours and Douglas would teach me how to build them correctly and that I stayed hydrated and fed throughout the work hours.

And at night I sang a song for them, I sang through 5 nights:

Deep In the Meadow by Sting

The Riddle by Five For Fighting

No One by Alicia Keys

Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift

Gaelic Lullaby by Judy Collins

It took 6 days to make 6 houses, the one Carol and KW created was big enough for the 3 of us. Our celebration of the completion of our houses was a bonfire and listening to my singing. I could tell that Judith was miffed by this because Carol complimented in front of her that he loved my singing voice and she gave me death stares. I knew that she wasn't making my life here any easier, but I decided to keep my head held high no matter what she said. I mainly just avoided her and she did the same with me.

I loved it here, the freedom from my cage and the love that surrounded me. Everyone (except Judith) made me feel wanted and heard and _I_ made sure I heard their opinions as well in return. Carol even added a new carving to his model city - me. He brought me there to show it to me blindfolded. His craftsmanship has never ceased to amaze me.

And also during my time here, my hair grew longer. My hair started out at jaw length and grew to my shoulder blades; KW took advantage of this by braiding it every morning. She liked my hair long and even wove Daniel's flowers into the braids.

I never wanted to go back to the home where I was nothing, unappreciated, and unheard.


	7. Chapter 7 A Day With KW

_**Chapter 7: A Day With KW**_

One morning, I had a nightmare about my family. I was sitting on the beach, the waves soaking my hands and legs; then I feel someone watching me. I turn around and see them; their eyes are a pearly, milky white and they say in unison, "Why did you leave us?"

"Because you were going to send me away anyway...I had to leave."

"You selfish, selfish girl!"

"Reason #2 why I left! You _always _have to find a reason to insult me!"

"Selfish! Selfish! Selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish girl!"

I jolted awake like a current of electricity went through me. It woke up both Carol and KW, "Em, you okay?" Carol asked.

"Nightmare...I'm fine."

"Em, you're crying," KW stated.

I just then noticed that my eyes were moist, KW then dried them off. It was still in the middle of the night so she sang a Scottish song I taught her...it was the lullaby from Brave. I taught it to her and after going over it twice, she sang it perfectly, it went:

A naoidhean bhig, cluinn mo ghuth  
Mise ri d' thaobh, O mhaighdean bhàn  
Ar rìbhinn òg, fàs a's faic  
Do thìr, dìleas féin  
A ghrian a's a ghealach, stiùir sinn  
Gu uair ar cliù 's ar glòir  
Naoidhean bhig, ar rìbhinn òg  
Maighdean uasal bhàn

She sang it until I was asleep again and my sleep this time was dreamless.

That day, KW took me out for a special day since the houses were finished. She took me to her beach where she introduced me to 2 owls named Bob and Terry. After an hour of me asking them questions and KW translating the answers we began walking along the shore talking; while I snacked on an apple I picked on our way over.

"What was your dream about last night?" she asked as I bit into the apple. I didn't want to answer that one because I didn't want to offend her.

"I can't answer that," I responded after I swallowed. She didn't press me; instead, she asked, "Are you planning on going back?"

"Definitely not."

"Why?"

"They - didn't want me in their lives anymore so...I gave them what they wanted."

She nodded, "You like it here?"

"I _love _it here."

"Good."

She pulled me into her side and kissed the top of my head. We walked and talked toward the shore by the fort; she asked about what I liked to do, what I didn't like to do, my childhood, pets things I loved and things I hated. I asked her the same questions after I answered them; she liked to have fun, she didn't like to be bossed around, she loves beaches and hates lizards. She remembered nothing of her childhood, and for pets she has Bob and Terry. She was very kind, easy to make laugh, and funny and has a sort of motherly touch to her. Her and Carol are _the_ most likeable of the group next to Ira, Douglas, Daniel and Alexander (_not_ in that order!)

We reached the shore by the fort when I felt a drop on my nose. The drop was warm, I looked up and around; Bob and Terry were on a nearby dune, so it wasn't owl feces, thank God.

"The warm rain is coming in," KW observed.

"I've never been in a warm rain."

"Wanna see what _I _like to do?"

"Sure."

She turned away from me and offered me her back, I linked my arms around her neck and let my legs hang. She adjusted me so I wouldn't choke her and wait for the rain to come down harder. The rain felt like a warm shower with fat droplets splashing onto my skin and clothing. I was bare footed and wearing a white tank top and a baby blue A-line skirt that went to my knees.

"Ready?" she asked.

'Yeah," I said excitedly.

She then spread her arms open and began to spin around. My legs flung out as she went faster and I squealed like I was on a roller coaster. This was better than the swings at the fair. The ones that spin you around while your in a seat. My squeals gained us an audience, Carol and the rest of the group ran over the dune in hysteria. They probably thought one of us was hurt; but when they saw us laughing in our dervish spin they were relieved. KW stopped and let me down as Carol approached us. I was soaked to the skin and my hair clung to my head. My skirt was sopped and plastered to my body, I used it to catch the rainwater and toss it on my face.

"What's going on here?" Carol laughed.

I caught some more and splashed it on Carol, then I bolted as he playfully ran after me, "C'mere you!"

He picked me up from behind and threw me in the ocean. I resurfaced and stood up in the knee deep water and splashed him, he splashed me back and splashed KW.

Alexander came up and I kicked some water at him and he did the same back. Then I jumped backwards into the ocean and resurfaced by sitting up. Douglas and Ira joined in while Daniel and Judith hung back. Daniel wasn't into this kind of stuff so I understood - I just could never get Judith. Too drunk with the water to care I continued to sing and dance in the rain. I sang until I grew hoarse and my body tired out and sat on a dune, hugging my knees and watching the sunset.


	8. Chapter 8 The Dirt Clod Fight

_**Chapter 8: The Dirt Clod Fight**_

Two days later, everyone was bored, so Carol got up and said, "Hey! Who's up for a dirt clod fight?"

I looked at him stupidly as everyone looked like they were silently said, '_Oh_ boy.'

"A what?" I asked.

"A dirt clod fight - we basically pummel each other with dirt clods."

KW then spoke, "Carol, I don't think that's a good idea - she's smaller than us."

I felt the cage coming again, so I said, "I can handle it - besides, I'm bored and it's nice out."

"See? She's up for it!"

KW and the others only had wariness on their faces. I saw it as being as harmless as paintball, which I never tried so that's why I was up for it.

I selected my other teammates - Carol and KW of course. Carol _insisted _on Douglas - so I picked him, though_ originally_ I was going to pick Alexander. Then we began.

Carol struck the first blow and I tried to throw another blow but I ended up hitting the ground while Carol's hit Ira's shoulder.

'Curse my terrible aim!' I thought.

Then we hid in a bunker fashioned out of a fallen log and a small plateau. Douglas barreled a clod at Judith while the other team's ammunition was exploding on the log. I could see why Carol insisted on Douglas - he's got an arm like _iron_!

"Good arm!" I told him.

"Thanks."

We were trapped, we were volleying dirt over to the other side and they were volleying back. I then had an idea, I would go out as a distraction and they would try to hit me and the other 3 would be free to fire at them. I explained my idea to them and they looked at me like I had a 3 headed Chihuahua on my head.

"Are you insane?!" Douglas exclaimed.

"If I can just distract them for a while then - "

"Em...be realistic here!" Carol said through his teeth.

"I _am_!"

Still, no one was on board.

"Look - it's the only chance we've _got_!" I tried to reason.

With a wary and thoughtful look, Carol nodded, "Be safe."

"I'll try."

Bent over, I walked to the end and nodded back to them to get into their position, they did and I jumped out waving my arms, "Hey! Over here!"

It caught their attention and I ran and dirt and rocks came from the bunker I left. I heard yells coming from the other side. I kept running; I turned and saw Judith running after me.

"That wasn't fair Em!" She yelled as a dirt clod missed my head by a hair, another one hit a tree trunk by my arm and I moved as fast as I could without stumbling. Then, I felt something hard hit my left side and I was on the ground. I wasn't screaming but the pain was excruciating. I can't even begin to explain it, but I knew some things were broken.

"Ha! Gotcha!" Judith said victoriously.

I wanted to pound her face in, but I couldn't move.

"Em?"

A cry finally came out and she went into panic mode.

"Oh my God! Oh God! CAROL! Get over here! Help! Emily's hurt!"

The world outside my pain was absent, I felt someone pick me up and carry me to the fort where Carol, KW, Daniel, Judith and IRA waited outside while Douglas got to work on re breaking the bones on my lower ribcage. Alexander was there to hold my hand through this whole ordeal. After I was bandaged, I was allowed to rest before being moved to the hut. The healing process took 2 months and neither Carol or KW left my side for a minute.


	9. Chapter 9 Truths

_**Chapter 9: Truths**_

After the bandages were off, Judith didn't apologize - two weeks after - still nothing. In fact for 2 weeks _straight_ she didn't speak...period. When 3 weeks went by and she still wasn't speaking, we all started to get worried. Ira even came up to me and asked me to talk to her.

"She's just not...her. You know? I know she feels _horrible_ about your ribs - please just talk to her."

Feeling worried for her as well, I agreed to do it.

I found her at the beach outside the fort grounds sitting on a dune. I slowly approached her from behind.

"Judith?"

"If you're coming for an apology, you're not gonna get it."

Impatient, I tried to start again, "Alright Judith, I don't know what I did to make you hate me so much-"

"Hate?"

She turned to face me and continued, "I don't hate you, I don't particularly _like _you, but I don't hate you. Em, I was trying to drive you away from here to protect you from Carol."

"Why? I've known him my whole life."

"You only know _one side_ of him."

"What do you mean?"

She patted the sand next to her, "You might want to sit down."

I sat next to her warily, and she began, "It all started with Max, he said he was a king with magical powers and we bought it. Carol took him under his wing; as did KW and when Carol found out he was a fake king he went ballistic! It was thanks to KW that he escaped. When Carol began having dreams about you, I knew it was going to be Max all over again. He'll never let you leave or let you out of his sight."

"I wasn't planning on leaving anyway-"

"Em, you're a _replacement_ - can't you see?"

That made me _boil_, I knew she was right...I felt _used_.

"I have to go."

I got up and walked back to the fort grounds. I angrily stormed up to Carol, "Why did you care about me?"

He looked at me confused, "What?"

"Is it true about Max?"

Judith came up from the shore, Carol looked at her as his eyes widened, "You told her about Max?"

"She deserved to know."

"What is _wrong_ with you?!"

"Carol, is it true?" I interrogated.

"Yes, but it's not like that-"

"Why should I believe you? You _lied_ to me! I'm just another Max to you aren't I?"

He lightly took my forearm, "Em-"

I harshly wrestled out of his grip, ""Don't touch me Carol!"

I pushed him away from me and his face was visibly stung as I yelled, "Don't...touch me!"

He made no movement towards me; the others were frozen where they were in shock. I then stormed off to the woods.

"Em-"Carol began to call and follow after me, but KW stopped him.

"Carol, I think she needs to be alone right now."

Carol didn't argue with her as I entered the forest and walked until I reached the shore where I first arrived. The boat was still in the same place where I left it. I then felt the urge to cry, I dropped to my knees and cried a chest shaking sob that made me go on my side and turn the sand into mud. I felt lost, confused, scared and I was barely holding it together. I actually had half a mind to go home, but I got up and started walking again.


	10. Chapter 10 Cliffs

_**Chapter 10: Cliffs**_

I walked until I reached the cliffs and the wind caught my hair. The wide expanse of the ocean glittered in pre sunset. I remembered the freezing temperature of the water, but it didn't stop my clouded thoughts.

"Emily!" I heard Carol call.

I took off my slip on shoes, if no one wanted me for me...why am I here?

"Emily!" KW called frantically.

I took a step forward, then ran and flung myself off of the cliffs.

"EMILY!" I heard KW scream.

I screamed out of adrenaline, as a final goodbye to the world. Then, the current caught me; it twirled me, flipped me and tossed me. I didn't know which way was up or down, left or right, and forward or backwards. Then I was thrust against into the rocks. I lost consciousness and felt the water flood down my throat; it was a choking, burning feeling and I welcomed it. I was leaving this life; I felt myself sinking as my body went limp.

Then, I _knew_ I was dead, my head resurfaced. I knew I was floating to heaven, but I didn't float any further. Maybe I would become a part of the sea? Like Neptune...or a mermaid maybe - at least I'd be beautiful. I tried to open my eyes but couldn't - that was when I felt fur.

"She's unconscious! But I think she's still alive!"

I knew that voice - Carol?

Someone grabbed my ankles as Carol wrapped his arms around my chest. I was carried a few yards and laid on the sand as I heard a scream of mourn, terror and shock. Not KW's - Judith's. I then felt a rock slamming my chest repeatedly, the water was gushing up in rhythm. The salt burned my throat and nose, someone was trying to save me.

"C'mon Em!" Carol said through gritted teeth.

I didn't know if it was him pounding my chest but I couldn't live; I didn't _want_ to live. I had no purpose in this life whatsoever, if I did - what is it and why am I alive? I'm better off dead at this point.

"Em? Hun...can you hear me?" Carol asked.

With 3 more thrusts, I coughed up all the water in my lungs; with a series of coughs my eyes opened. I saw Alexander at my side, Carol over me, Douglas comforting KW, Ira doing the same with Judith, and Daniel holding his head in his hands in relief.

"Em? Hun, can you speak?" Carol asked.

"I...didn't. Wanna. Be. Saved." I croaked.

"I didn't have time to ask permission - sorry," Carol said tearfully.

He combed his claws trough my bangs, "What would we have done if anything happened to you?"

"What. You were. Doin'...before me."

"You make that sound easy," Alexander laughed.

I lifted the corner of my mouth in a grin. I was surrounded by this love - Judith was wrong...I should've known better than to listen to her. I felt sobs like before come up; Carol then sat me up and pulled me into a bear hug. This is when I cried harder, "I'm _so sorry_! I didn't mean what I said!"

He then rocked me from side to side like a small child, "Ssh, it's okay - I'm here."

I was shivering violently from the cold, and he kept me warm and realized how judgmental I was. But, if this was the life I was going to choose...what about my former family? This was the last question in my mind before Carol picked me up, KW took my hand and we went home.


	11. Chapter 11 Contemplation

_**Chapter 11: Contemplation**_

I hardly slept that night with these thoughts in my head. Should I go home? Should I stay? What would happen if I did this? What would happen if I did that? Would I turn into one of them if I stayed? And what about my family? I know they treated me like total garbage, but...isn't there a saying that you can't pick your family? This _isn't _my situation - I _have _to pick a family.

I have to choose between: the family that raised me or the family that made me feel wanted.

Then I came up with a plan, I would check on them and if they're the same as always - I would come back and stay for good. I just don't know how Carol's going to react to it. I remembered what Judith said when found out that Max was a fake king and shivered, he wouldn't do that to _me_! Would he?

What if he did? If Carol turned on me - there'd be no stopping him! He...will..._kill_ me! Carol will be the last one to tell at this point, I'll start with Daniel, then Douglas, Ira Judith, Alexander, KW, _then_ Carol so at least I'll have protection if Carol goes nuts.

I imagined their hurt but understanding faces and felt tears swell up. I let them glide down both sides of my face - this is the emotional journey; I already went through the physical journey.

Now my problem was _how_ to tell them; I had to do it gently. It would be like breaking up with someone and telling him that we should see other people. I had to be gentle, but firm - not _harsh, _firm.

The next morning, after everyone was awake, I pulled Daniel aside and told him. At first he was confused and sad, but was fully understanding that I had to be sure that I was going to be treated differently.

"If it's the same, I'll come back...if it's different, I'll still come back and visit."

Daniel then tucked a daffodil behind my ear and pulled me into a bear hug.

I then told Douglas with the same result, then Ira. I told them if they could spread the news amongst the group, it would make it easier for me.


	12. Chapter 12 Another Side of Judith

**_Chapter 13: Alexander's Confession_**

It was the day before my departure that I decided to spend some time with Alexander. we were going through the forests, silently, when I remarked awkwardly, "It's so pretty here, I'm gonna miss this scenery."

He didn't respond for a few footfalls, "Are you gonna...miss _us_?"

I stopped and turned to him, "Of course! I'll definitely miss all of you."

He smiled awkwardly, looked around and said, "I've been wanting to say something for a while now...I imagined a different setting but - it'll have to do, I'm running out of time."

I looked at him confusedly, "What are you talking about?"

"I may not have known you _personally_ but I knew you through Carol's stories and you've seen..._me_ right?"

"Yeah, why?"

He took a deep breath, "Here it goes...Emily...I am in love with you Em. Emily, I love you. And I want you to stay, I don't you to leave. I know you have to, but-It would be like hanging from a cliff and waiting for someone to rescue you."

I couldn't think of a response, no one has ever said any thing like that to me before.

"Em? Are you alright?"

"Yeah...I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I mean did I say something-"

"No, I mean...it's just-no one's ever said anything like that to me before."

He smiled, "But I'm not gonna be able to stop you am I?"

I shook my head.

"At least you know your options."

"I'll keep you in mind, when I have to decide."

"How long are you planning on waiting over there?"

"A day."

"That's a _year_ for us!"

"Alex..."

"I'm sorry, that was selfish."

We then sat down and we napped for an hour with me in his arms.


	13. Chapter 13 Alexander's Confession

**_Chapter 13: Alexander's Confession_**

It was the day before my departure that I decided to spend some time with Alexander. we were going through the forests, silently, when I remarked awkwardly, "It's so pretty here, I'm gonna miss this scenery."

He didn't respond for a few footfalls, "Are you gonna...miss _us_?"

I stopped and turned to him, "Of course! I'll definitely miss all of you."

He smiled awkwardly, looked around and said, "I've been wanting to say something for a while now...I imagined a different setting but - it'll have to do, I'm running out of time."

I looked at him confusedly, "What are you talking about?"

"I may not have known you _personally_ but I knew you through Carol's stories and you've seen..._me_ right?"

"Yeah, why?"

He took a deep breath, "Here it goes...Emily...I am in love with you Em. Emily, I love you. And I want you to stay, I don't you to leave. I know you have to, but-It would be like hanging from a cliff and waiting for someone to rescue you."

I couldn't think of a response, no one has ever said any thing like that to me before.

"Em? Are you alright?"

"Yeah...I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I mean did I say something-"

"No, I mean...it's just-no one's ever said anything like that to me before."

He smiled, "But I'm not gonna be able to stop you am I?"

I shook my head.

"At least you know your options."

"I'll keep you in mind, when I have to decide."

"How long are you planning on waiting over there?"

"A day."

"That's a _year_ for us!"

"Alex..."

"I'm sorry, that was selfish."

We then sat down and we napped for an hour with me in his arms.


	14. Chapter 14 Another Side Of Carol

**_Chapter 14: Another Side Of Carol_**

I came back to the fort grounds smiling when I was encountered by Carol. He looked angry, I've seen him happy, in pain, remorseful, and even prideful...but never angry and that face has been branded in the back of my mind.

"Carol, are you okay?" I asked a little frightened.

"Who knows? Maybe I know, maybe I won't tell...like you didn't tell me you were leaving, are you really going?"

I nodded in hysteria, he found out.

His face softened, "Don't."

"I have to."

"Why? Why are you going back to _them_?! the ones who treated you like...like...this!"

He picked up a handful of dirt and let it slide through his fingers.

"Did I do something wrong? Is this about _Max_?!"

I said nothing, I merely stepped backwards a few steps and Carol matched each stride.

"Answer me!" he yelled.

"No! I just-"

"Don't feel safe here, because of me, don't feel like hurting over me...what about all that about feeling wanted and loving it here, where did _that _go?"

"Carol, you're scaring me!"

"I'm scaring you? I'm _scaring_ you?! Good! Then it'll make it more enjoyable when I prevent you from leaving for good!"

He's not saying what I think he's saying!

"I'll eat you up!"

Carol lunged and missed as I ran of into the woods screaming, "Somebody help!"

I darted through a dense thicket, too small for Carol. I then had a head start when someone pulled me off the path, I looked up and there was Alexander.

"Listen, keep going, I'll go get help okay?"

"Okay."

"Go!"

I bolted and he ran in the other direction. I ran until I felt like I could run no more, then I was bounced off of something like a trampoline, I landed on my back and saw KW.

"Come on," She said as she took my ankle and dragged me into the brush.

I could hear Carol storming through the forest like an angry giant and I was now scared out of my mind when KW said, "Here, get inside!"

I looked at her confused, "What?"

"Get in! Crawl inside my mouth, I'm gonna hide you!"

I looked at her like she was crazy, "Again, _what_?"

Carol was getting closer, I had no choice now. I put my foot in her mouth and stepped in.

"Watch the teeth! Watch the teeth!"

She then pushed me further in and I was dropped in a sack of slimy fuzz, I realized the only air I was getting was from when she breathed, "KW, do me a favor and breathe through your nose!"

"Got it."

Then Carol same through the thicket, "EMILY!"

I overheard their conversation as I hyperventilated.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know."

"Where is she?"

"I don't know!"

"I can _smell_ her! Don't make me ask again!"

"You leave her alone Carol!"

"I wasn't _really_ gonna eat her...I just..."

"What?"

"Overreacted!"

There was a slight pause, "Am I really that scary?"

"Carol, just go home."

"I just wanted a daughter."

I was pained inside as I heard Carol leave.

"Are you alright in there hun?"

"Well I'm being constricted and it doesn't exactly smell like a basket of roses in here."

I felt and heard her snort a laugh, "Here"

I was then pulled out and I fell asleep on her lap as she combed through my damp hair.


	15. Chapter 15 A Sad Parting

**_Chapter 15: A Sad Parting_**

I awoke to the sound of waves. I saw KW carrying me to the boat, she saw me waken and she put me down. And standing in a line was the rest of the group, with a look of desperation; everyone was there - except Carol. I started at the beginning of the row, with the bull, Daniel, and he spoke for the first time.

"Don't wait too long, please?"

"I wont."

I then said my tearful goodbyes to the others Alexander last of all, who let a golf ball sized tear drop on the top of my head. I then began to walk away when I turned and kissed the side of his face then we hugged and we parted. KW then lifted me into the boat and said, "Don't go...I'll eat you up I love you so."

She then hugged me and pushed me into open water. As the tide took me out, I saw a figure come out of the woods like a frantic maniac...it was Carol. His arms flailing, he was running toward the shore and a pained look came across his face when he saw that he was too late. In his face, I only saw sadness, no anger, just sorrow and regret. Then, almost as if he were in a trance he walked into the water, with no clue as to where he was. Then, once he realized I was too far he could do nothing but howl. I howled back in forgiveness, and this was all Carol wanted. He was overcome, his eyes a mess of tears, the others joined in and this too, made me tear up a little. Then I was headed towards the sunrise home. And they were gone.

**_RIP JAMES GANDOLFINI_**

**_1961 - 2013_**


	16. Chapter 16 Where Home Is

**_Chapter 16: Where Home Is_**

When I arrived home, it was about an hour after I'd left, midnight. I suspected that I'd been there a few months. But the next day, nothing changed for the better, I was still treated like a servant. It was the same thing, go do dishes, go do laundry, you'll never be successful at anything and all that other crap. And at dinnertime, I made an excuse to go walk up the road for exercise, telling them I wasn't hungry, but really, I was going back to the boat docks. And I knew...there was no turning back, I imagined all of my belongings and photos fading as I walked past the houses that made up the neighborhood where I grew up. I arrived at the docks and climbed in as the sun was setting and pushed away from the shoreline. I must have sailed for over a year back to my new home and I fell asleep as soon as I stepped in and curled into a ball on the floor and I slept the whole way back.

And I dreamt, about anything and everything that happened in my life, from when I left the island to the day my birth mother first held me as a baby. It was like a video slideshow that was never ending, it went on and on until it started to slow down and I was coming awake. I felt myself on the beach as I heard my birth mother's heart beat and then, I felt the powdery sand under me. When I opened my eyes everyone was over me on the shore. I looked down to see claws and fur...I had a new life, as one of them...a wild thing. I sat up as I realized that I was accepted here, some say you have to leave home to find it and that's what happened to me. I was willing to give up everything to come here and start a new life...a life that accepted me, this is where I went for acceptance.

**_RIP JAMES GANDOLFINI_**

**_1961 - 2013_**


	17. Chapter 17 Playlist

**_Chapter 17: Playlist_**

**_The Story_**

Don't Wake Me Up - Chris Brown

Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Kingdom Come - The Civil Wars

Chances - Five For Fighting

Endtapes - The Joy Formidable

The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Neutral Milk Motel

Who Says - Selena Gomez

The Dirt Clod Fight - Carter Burwell

45 - Shinedown

Slow Life - Grizzly Bear

Underneath The Weeping Willow - Granddaddy

Unity - Shinedown

Let Me Love You - Ne Yo

How Am I Supposed To Live - Michael Bolton

Going Home - Libera

Welcome Home (You) - Brian Littrell

_**Character Themes**_

_Emily- _Nobody's Home - Avril Lavigne

_Carol-_ Amaryllis - Shinedown

_KW- _So Small - Carrie Underwood

_Alexander- _Say Yes _- _Elliot Smith

_Ira- _Look Through My Eyes - Phil Collins

_Judith- _Go Figure - Everlife

_Douglas- _To The Sky - Owl City

_Daniel- _When You Say Nothing At All - Allison Krauss

Trailer Song (if there _was _one!)

Demons - Imagine Dragons

**_RIP JAMES GANDOLFINI_**

**_1961 - 2013_**


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